a little bit of wisdom

on december 8th i became a "mom". now many of you looked upon your brand new baby with tears in your eyes and say something beautiful and sentimental like "happy birthday little one". my first sentence (and this was actually caught on video) was the beginning of the sentence "and i can't give her back". nice way to start, huh? i didn't really mean it the way it came out.... what i meant was, when you are holding someone else's baby and they start to cry or need something, there is someone else to give it to....the expert on this child. i was definitely no expert. total parenting novice right here. just tonight, i finally came to the realization that my 11 month old had been trying to tell me something for an entire week and i just wasn't getting it. each night at dinner, as she would start to get bored she would smoosh her hands all over her face, mumble something sing-songy and then pull her hand off her face and put them in her hair. and EVERY time that she did this all i kept thinking was, oh goodness, i am going to give this kid a bath, i will never be able to get such-and-such out of her hair. tonight i watched her do this and something clicked. i said "where's aubrey?" she pulled her hand off her face and with the biggest smile i had ever seen she smashed her dirty hands into her hair. "there she is!" she looked at me with her beautiful eyes as if to say "you got it mom!" we were both so happy...
i guess i tell you all this because.... i am thankful for my little girl. sure the hours are long and i am only paid in hugs and sloppy kisses. but i wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. i am so lucky to get to be a part of this little girls life. i don't know why God picked me for this job, most of the time i feel inadequate, tired, run-down, guilty and well, just an overall failure. but that is when God gives me a little bit of wisdom and a toddler let's me know "you got it mom."